State of the Factory

Who are we kidding?  A few posts all year?  Not exactly the content to keep you coming back for more. But as the birth of baby girl, due today, draws near I feel the need to capture some of what life has been like these last several months.

I suppose this pregnancy just started different.  I'm not going to say I was sick, but my stomach was definitely more unsettled in the beginning and without predictability there were certain things that just were not going to pass my lips (and I would have preferred to not have pass my nose).  Otherwise things were pretty good.  I had started taking yoga with some lovely mamas and young 'uns in a friends back yard before I knew I was pregnant and have kept it up with some modification during the entire pregnancy.  It's a lovely time to do something for myself and give Aitan the opportunity to play with, push or be pushed by other kids (depending on the day).

I am a certified HypnoDoula with HypnoBabies, so I thought I'd investigate that route for comfort management during the babies birth.  Admittedly, I've slacked in listening the tracks the last several weeks.  I need to get back on that.  I'm hopeful it will help me have an easier, more relaxed birth.  I don't feel like either have been sooo bad to this point, but if it can be even better, then I'm all for it!

At our diagnostic ultrasound our perinatologist (Dr. Bochner) was having trouble viewing the baby's entire heart and referred us to a pediatric cardiologist.  This has issued in a slew of doctors appointments and a huge change in my birth plan, as I was originally planning to give birth at home with midwives from the Sanctuary.  There is no clear diagnosis at this point.  What we know is that the baby's heart is rotated to the left, but seems to be connected and functioning properly.  The most recent theory is that her lungs (or one of them) may not be fully developed and therefore not acting as an "anchor" for the heart.  There is no way to diagnose this before she comes so we are waiting and praying that upon her arrival she will breathe and her body will be able to sustain itself without medical intervention.

As my pregnancy comes to an end, I am finding myself very reliant upon and very thankful for friends and family who have helped lighten my load (and in the process have probably spared my sons' lives).  Between doctors' appointments and just regular life this mama is tired and ready to meet baby girl.


It's been a little strange going through this process without a whole lot of surety.  I do feel like God gave me a premonition of something outside my comfort zone that was coming my way.  I can't say that I've enjoyed the ride, but knowing that God is in control has made a big difference.  I feel his peace and most of the time I am positive.  Every now and then I get a little weepy, just stewing over all of the possibilities, but however hard the process, I do believe it will be good in the end.  So, we wait.